Black hole…

I don’t know why He chose me to be who I am,

I don’t know why He sent me where I am…

And I really don’t know why He is making me go through all the things that I am going through…

I am tired of being the strong one,the one who listens to everyone, the one who does all the work, the mute one. I think of being a rebel…what am I if I don’t do anything to change things that are not right.But then I end up thinking about the one who might get hurt in the process. Why do I have to be the one to think of everyone’s actions and behavioral consequences..? I don’t see a person behaving his age around…they tell me that you are the only sensible amongst the four of us,and yet when I open my mouth to say anything,I stand corrected…they don’t give a damn what I am saying,they don’t even make an effort to listen to what I have to say…leave alone trying to understand.

I try so hard to escape this when I can’t change it…I think of extreme getaways like shifting to a new city or marrying away quickly…but who am I kidding.I don’t have the guts to do anything such drastic.Even if I had I couldn’t go away from someone I love,and care about so much..sometimes it makes me sick… literally!!!

Sometimes I question my faith…what is He doing sitting up there idle…can’t he sense the despair?  I really doubt his existence sometimes,but then find myself praying hard…

When everything leaves me,I’m only left with hope…It’s just a little black hole,that I’m trying to get out of.

I just hope everyone survives till the end…!

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One thought on “Black hole…”

  1. I ll just say what andy dufresne said
    Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.

    I wish you would think about yourself once in a while. NOW is the time.

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